Sunday, May 29, 2011

Or So I Thought...

So I thought life was good and that everything was ok but it's not. Before I went to bed I was looking through some pictures that my baby's father's aunt posted on Facebook today. (Let me just say: BAD IDEA!) She just happened to get a picture of him and as I tried to go to sleep all I could think about were all the bad memories it brought back and a hidden anger that I didn't know I still had. Yeah, life is still good but this anger, this anger means everything is not as I thought. It just makes me so mad that he 1. denies he's my daughter's father. Have you seen Kaydence? She's beautiful, so precious. How could you not love her? How could you deny her?? 2. thinks he's so much better than me..don't even get me started with this one, and 3. thinks his life is so hard. I'd like to see him do what I do every day. Cause he couldn't. He wouldn't be able to handle it. He couldn't last five minutes in my shoes. And his family thinks as little of me as he does. As if I'm the only one who ever made mistakes. It's hard to know what to do. As much as I want to get a paternity test to prove to them that he is her dad, I don't want him to fight me for custody then because he is NO condition to care for a baby. And he doesn't live in a safe environment for her either. I want so bad to get it just to prove everyone wrong..But I wonder if it would even make any difference because neither him nor his family deserve to have her in their life. They have been so rude and cold to me throughout everything. Did any of them ever offer to take me to my appointments? Did they ever offer to buy me anything? The answer to those questions is quite simply NO.
And I wonder if things will ever change...

1 comment:

  1. I really don't understand how you think we are rude and cold. You have shut us out by not getting the paternity test.
    As for buying you things, I did buy you a lot of items that I gave you at your baby shower (which I was invited too at the last moment). I also gave you a gift at the hospital the day that Kaydence was born. Unfortunately, I found out that you called us "inconsiderate" for showing up at the hospital.
    You should put yourself in our shoes before you start judging us. How can we be a part of Kaydence's life when we have no legal claim to be a part of her life? You denied us being a part of her life when you stopped the paternity test.
    Donnie could challenge and have the paternity test conducted (by going to court), but he won't because it is easier to walk away than owe up to responsibilities. You made it too easy for him to walk away and in the process you have made it harder on yourself because we can't help either.

    Please do not make this a battle with us, Donnie, and your baby. Your baby does not deserve this. I wish you well and hope that you finally do have the paternity test because we would love to be a part of Kaydence's life. Unfortunately, we have already missed so much because of all of this.