Hard Times

Lately I've just been so exhausted. It takes everything I have to scrounge up an hour's worth of energy. As my journey of being a single parent continues, I find it taking a toll on me. Little by little it's wearing me down. I don't quite know how I'm going to handle it when I have a job. I could barely make it through five hours of school, how am I going to make it through a long day at work? (which that search isn't coming up very good. i have applied to many places and heard back from one. and that was to tell me i'm not qualified--you have to be 18, but i figured i'd still apply since i will be 18 in 9 days) I also find myself wanting someone...a guy, to come and just sweep me off my feet. Someone to make everything alright, to help me raise my child, to give me comfort and security. I love my little girl but I hate doing this on my own. When I found out I was going to be a mom, this is not what I had in mind. I always thought he'd stay to support me, and he did for a little while, but it didn't last. I always had high hopes and he let me down. Of everything he's ever said or done to me, it was the biggest disappointment of them all. The way he treats me isn't any better. I try to stay in touch and be friendly but he's just so mean. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this.. My heart breaks every time I think about it. My daughter deserves so much more and the fact that I can't give that to her kills me :/