Hurt

As things took a turn for the even worse today I find myself hurting much more than I wish I was. No matter how much I try to myself I don't care, I don't want him, and that it's for the best I can't believe it. It puzzles me that no matter how much and how hard I try to make things work they always fall apart. I can't help but wonder what I am doing that is so wrong. All I want is the best for him and by trying to help him make the right decisions somehow I am the bad guy. I'm always the bad guy. The worst part is seeing and feeling how much I care about and love him even when I shouldn't. No matter what he does to me, how angry or hurt he makes me, at the end of the I still love him.
What is wrong with me...

Sleeping In

My definition of sleeping in since I became a mom: getting to sleep until 6:00 a.m after having to wake up throughout the night for feedings...can you say exhaustion?

Strength

As I begin my journey as a single teenage mother I often find myself so flustered. With so much going on it is hard to keep everything together, including myself. It's hard doing this on my own and I find myself angry at God sometimes and I wonder what I ever did to deserve this or why he can't make Kaydence's father be a dad. It's frustrating. I feel weak and defeated at times. But as I learn to turn the focus away from myself and more on God I find that I feel stronger and more empowered, that I CAN do this. After all this time of counting on myself and having no one to really turn to, having God by my side is refreshing. A nice wind of change..

Coming Soon!

The journey of Amanda and Kaydence...
The day to day life of being a single parent searching for God.